My Reflection on Van Gogh’s Life

A Book Review of ‘Face to Face With Vincent Van Gogh’

‘And so those 20 or so painters whom people call impressionists, although a few of them have become fairly rich and fairly big men in the world — all the same, the majority of them are poor souls who live in coffee houses, lodge in cheap inns, live from one day to the next.’

Vincent Van Gogh died before he knew that people from all generations would appreciate his paintings. Today, we crown him as one of the greatest painters of all time, though in his life, he didn’t strive for greatness; he simply wanted to live, find solace and happiness in nature, and paint as much as he could.

This book, which I bought as a souvenir in the museum in Amsterdam, tells Vincent Van Gogh’s life story, based mainly on his letters to his friends and his beloved brother, Theo, as a painter and human. It is about his personal stories and conveys his works of art and the stories behind them as if we were in the museum itself.

While leafing through this book and reading his letters, I can easily consider Van Gogh, a natural writer rather than a natural painter. His writing style in his letters is that he naturally writes poetic and infectious sentences effortlessly. Meanwhile, as a painter, he knows he’s not the best at it, and from time to time, all he wants to do is to be a better painter than yesterday. His earlier work was dark, pale, and somber old Dutch fashion until his latest work was bright, contrasting, and considered modern fashion at that time.

Before he embarked on an artist’s life, he had never seen himself as an artist back then, although he had worked as an art shop dealer. Thanks to his job there, Van Gogh developed a keen eye for discerning good and bad painting, but he never envisioned himself as a painter. From the outset, he envisioned a preacher’s life; he wanted to live as a priest. Those are the values that all of his family shared and raised: Christian values.

However, his journey to be a priest failed after school and his trial to be a lay preacher. He decided to be a full-time painter, immersing himself in nature and drawing from it. With financial support from his little brother, he dedicated himself merely to drawing peasants and nature. He believed that peasants and nature are the most accurate forms of life, and they depict the cycle of life and death. However, as his brother expressed concern over the style and marketability of his paintings, Vincent realized his work was considered old-fashioned and unsellable. He moved to France, and while there, he developed the sense of artistry that we see today.

Despite his artistic evolution in France, Van Gogh’s personal life was marked by loneliness, and like all of us, all he needed was friends to talk about life and the arts. His attempts at romantic relationships often failed, choosing unsuitable partners. He eventually decided that family life wasn’t for him and sought solace in nature and art. Later, when he heard that his brother Theo was to be a father, he wrote: ‘Do you know what I hope… it’s the family will be for you what nature is for me.’ Theo’s son, named Vincent, embodied Theo’s deep admiration for his brother.

Eventually, after his attempt to create a romantic relationship failed, he made some artist friends. Some of his friends were important to him, and Paul Gauguin was one of them. They discussed many things, and Van Gogh persuaded Paul to live with him and create an art studio. Unfortunately, one day, they engaged in a heated argument regarding how one should start an art. Paul Gauguin believed that one should begin with imagination, while Vincent Van Gogh thought one should start with nature. The argument went wrong; Paul Gauguin threatened to leave after Van Gogh pointed a razor to his neck. Van Gogh became confused, and the famous ear incident happened when Van Gogh cut off most of his lost ear.

After that event, Van Gogh was treated by a doctor due to his mental illness, and he spent most of the rest of his life painting inside the hospital’s wall; thanks to nature around him, he was still able to paint. He painted vigorously, sometimes seeming possessed by an angel of art and being very productive. On other days, he could do nothing, paralyzed by his illness. He once wrote to Theo, “Ah, if I’d been able to work without this bloody illness! How many things I could have done.” research revealed he had bipolar disorder.

Although Vincent’s health seemed to be on the mend, on 27 July 1890, Van Gogh’s life ended unexpectedly. After his little brother confided to him about his current state and told him about his plan to be an independent art dealer, he contemplated his expenses because now he had a family to feed. Van Gogh understood the burden he caused for his brother and decided that there was no way out; his painting enterprise was a failure, and he shot himself in the chest. He shot himself that day with the assumption that all of his work was nothing but the work of an amateur painter who deserved no recognition and money.

Two days later, he died because of the wound. He lay dead inside his coffin with a belief that he was a failure to his passion and his brother. Meanwhile, his brother saw Van Gogh as a talented painter and an exemplary figure for everyone. He put a yellow flower on his coffin as a tribute to his exceptional brother.

No one can change the past, but sometimes, I wonder if a time machine existed. I would go back to Van Gogh’s time and tell him that far later than his time, every generation of mankind would appreciate and praise his painting. Oh, only if I could ask him to stay longer! He would be possessed by the angel of art and produce even more prolific paintings that the world would marvel at and couldn’t imagine. Oh, only if I could, if I could ask him.